To be a beard for a man who cannot live out his authentic sexuality, either because of his own “stuff” or because of societal pressures, denies a woman her right to a full partnership. They fought to be treated as human beings, not property. Women in our culture fought long and hard to become equal partners with husbands in matters of finances, sexuality, household chores and child-rearing tasks. We also learned that the daily practice of marriage – especially sticking together through the tough days – offers people a unique opportunity to mature.Īs clergyman and writer Joseph Barth once said, “Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.”īearded relationships don’t always lead to marriage, but they always create secret spaces between a couple, like compartments in a submarine that must be tightly closed to prevent disaster. We learned that marriages are as unique as the individuals in them. My collaborators and I interviewed dozens of couples about their long-term marriages. In the past two years, I’ve co-authored two books on marriage. But her eyes, cast downward, hold a thousand sorrows. In a photo taken the day of the announcement, Dina McGreevey has perfect blond hair and a gentle smile. The secret life involved gay relationships. The surface life included the beautiful wife. Last August, he finally admitted to living a double life. McGreevey, as he announced his resignation as governor of New Jersey. More recently, Dina Matos McGreevey stood by her husband, James E. The marriage broke up after a couple of years. The couple had sex, but Gates knew something was missing in the intimacy department. His true sexual orientation was purportedly about to be exposed, and the sudden wedding stopped the rumors. In 1955, Rock Hudson, the heartthrob of the ‘50s and ‘60s, married his agent’s secretary, Phyllis Gates.
It’s none of my business.īut it has stirred for me this whole business of the “beard phenomenon” and the harm it does to women who assume the role of beard (unwittingly or not), the men who seek it out, and our society that colludes in the deception, rather than accept the reality that gay men and women work and love among us. I haven’t talked to them about this, and I don’t intend to. Cruise has long denied he is gay, but the rumors persist that Cruise dates and marries beautiful women, these so-called beards, to quash speculation about his sexual orientation.Ī subtext to the Jim West story is the fact that West, who acknowledges he is a gay man, has also dated women, and married one. Current chatter at ABC.com is filled with beard comments concerning Tom Cruise’s new lady love. The term also applies to a man who does the same for a lesbian woman.
Is there any way i can make a move which is easy to play off, yet if he is interested it would be apparant.One definition of the word beard is found mostly in slang dictionaries, though the New Oxford Dictionary of English added the alternative definition a few years ago.Ī beard is defined as a woman who dates, or marries, a gay man to provide cover for the man’s homosexuality.
The thing is he talks about girls some times and having sex with them, yet he could be bi and or trying to impress me. Also we make a lot of weird eye contact, like that silent eye contact when your about to kiss someone, i had like three of those stares in under a minute but im scared to make a move lol and hes not gonna make one. ive touched his hand "by accident" to test the water multiple times and he didnt move it away at all or even say anything lol. Not only that we get close to eachother a lot and hes reached over my leg to grab something and had his other arm rested on my thigh until he got it which he made a slow attempt to. Not only that he is very touchy around me, not in a bad way at all it actually turns me on, but when he hands me something we always touch hands the same way. Ive known him for a bit and i started hanging out with him again last week, and ever since that first day for the past like 3 days hes been over here hanging out with me, which it went from conversations on snapchat to that.
The thing is, he is just a friend and i kinda get those vibes from him but im not really sure. Theres this guy i kow, and i really like him.